I was supposed to study for tomorrow instead, I found myself having this “internal conversation” and I decided to write it down...momentarily ignoring my books. :) Here it is.
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Babe, I love you! My life will never be the same without you. You gave meaning to my life. Without you, I am nothing. I will love you as long as I live and then, “I do”.
Wait. Does it have to be like that all the time? Can you not love without getting married? Can you not share every minute of the day without necessarily tying the knot? Does it really follow that once you’re in love and you, in all honesty, believe that he’s the man of your life [that] you also have to jump into binding yourself TO him for eternity as if he’s the only moving creature left?
I was so drunk last Saturday night and guess what. I realized that there are a lot of people around, in this world, on this planet, everywhere, waiting to be discovered - beautiful inside out. Then, I thought, why should I bind myself and be forever one and in turn, figuratively, be swallowed by the concept of oneness brought about by marriage? I don’t want that. What I want is to keep “me”, “myself” separate and distinct. I don’t want to disappear and be part of something that will make me lose my person, my identity.
Change is the only permanent thing in this world. I love you now but will I still love you tomorrow? You’re the apple of my eye (at least for now) but will you still be 3 years from now? There really is no guaranty, is there? Then why get married? Why take the risk of spending your life with someone whose feelings, emotions are beyond your control? Marriage, at least in this country, is like a prison cell. The only difference is there’s no parole. There’s no getting out. Di lahat ng pinasukan mo, pwede mong labasan (Parang iba ang dating but you get my point, right?) :)
I’ll give you examples:
A Case of Falling out.
I have a friend who, at the time when she got married, was madly and deeply in love with her long time boyfriend – a 12-year love affair. After almost 2 years of living together as husband and wife, she just woke up one day feeling empty. The feeling is gone. Just like that. Since then, they’ve been quarreling over almost anything under the sun - from tissues, towels, misplaced slippers, empty bottle of shampoo, the list goes on and on... You really can’t say that it wasn’t love. Who are we to say that? We were not there when they started it all. We were not there when all the sweet nothings were whispered. We were not there when they made their promises to love each other, forever. We were not there when they had their intimate moments [although, we would love to J]. We were simply not there. But both of them were there. Dude, what happened? I don’t know. Fell out? Perhaps? I really don’t know. But wait even if you fell out of love, there’s no getting out. There’s only one choice for you [really] - suck it up. Forever, live in misery.
Abandonment.
Another girl friend of mine married the love of her life. Then one day, he left her for another woman and the bad thing is she could not even get an annulment coz boy, abandonment is not a ground for annulment. Can you imagine, while your husband is having an affair, gratifying himself, you were left alone – deprived- no means of enjoying sex in a valid, moral and legal way. That’s not fair. Totally.
A Case of battery – emotional and physical. This is the worst kind.
Promise, I will not make you cry. I will do everything I can to make you happy. Just marry me.
You believed him. You can’t be faulted for believing. You married him. Then, BANG! PAK! BOOM!!! blog!! Black-eye. You didn’t know that all these would happen to you. He promised!!!! Yeah, right. And you believed. Who wouldn’t? But dude? Why marry? Can you not be happy without being married? The sad thing is there’s no ground for annulment here. Not even for legal separation. Even for legal separation, the physical abuse has to be REPEATED, so you have to be hit not just once, not twice but several times and the worse thing of it all – he remains your husband, willing to love you and hit you, not once, not twice, but several times. Sigh. :(
Again, why get married? Tell me. :)
P.S
If you have a happy married life, please share your story :) If it's sadder than what I posted above, still share it. :)
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